Its almost midnight. I cant go to sleep.
To many thoughts fill my head.
Thoughts about people I have no ability to help.
Like my brother.
Like my mother.
Like you dear.
All those facing an inferno. Facing the trials of a failing body. Paranoia. Addiction. Age.
Where is hope found for those who dont know how to hope?
Who teaches them?
Who repels the demons that visit them at night?
Look,
If You are life, if you are as relentless as You seem to be, wouldnt You burn up those towns? Wouldnt You send down a holy fire upon my lips, or are You waiting for righteousness? Are You waiting for them to suffer more, or are You moving across the scales on our eyes? Your promises are like sapphires in the cavern of my soul. But these voices ask me to pluck them out.
King, for all my paranoia and sleepless suffering, I know you are not the enemy. You are what you are.
Does not mean I am not challenged with you.
I watch pressure and stress mold and form my friends. I watch the manifold manifestations of deceit and trickery reveal themselves in the eyes of my dearest ones. And for some reason, I can hold to You. I can commit myself to repentance. I must acknowledge You as life, for I know its like mercury in my veins, whenever I push You away. The emptiness leaves me staggering, and I will pull out all my hair if I cannot keep you. But Lord, these ghosts, these waiting children, are in such desperate need of miracles.
And maybe their desperation will bring them out of depression. They need mercy for themselves more than anything. But their heart is thick with these stones. Blood spurts out at every seem, and we must wait for their patience.
I must speak the truth, Your Spirit will rest with us in our rooms, waiting to be called upon. How could you ask Him to fill you with nothing? If you need sustenance, how can you ask for anything but Him?
How could you rest in this grey life, how could you breathe in that stagnant air.
Oh, how I would move to see you live.
The tears that would come at seeing you like this.
“It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Phill 2:13. And you told me a while ago that God is not a loser. These people are His, and "his desire is for every man to be saved," according to 1 Timothy 2:4. Your heart for God and for these people is so beautiful, and a gift from God.
ReplyDeleteLove you bro
And I'm a huge fan of this week's musical selection.