Whatsthepoint

"Okay" the conducter says to me as he walks up to my seat
"You.. sir... seem to be....
                                            You..
                                                   I'm sorry sir,
                                                           Youre just to crazy to ride"

"Get the fuck off"

Thats what I know. Nonsensical brutality aimed at my sanity.
I quietly pick up my mess,
I clumsily try to stack my papers, he taps his foot impatiently.
I walk down the aisle as everyone stares at me.
I walk barefoot on a rich red carpet.
I am not wear I belong.


I step off.

And honestly, when I was with you (you thoughtless thought), I just wanted to shove

 a little fire down your throat.

I wanted to be the one to break your spirit. I wanted to twist your spine to look like mine.

I do not celebrate my excuse. I despise the hurt and the pain and I cry for liberation.
I walk in the dirt, the sunset is beautiful, and I join the sick and wasted (those who would never think to get on the train). I find you (my sister) alongside the train tracks and we kick dirt and grunt and get dust in our eyes.

I always find you alone here. Sitting by the edge. You just bleed out the strength to crack their windows. All the same. Youre right. We should all plan to say goodbye.

You (my sister) always leave to make yourself weak. And I want to scream for you, but you know, generally we are in a place where that would be publicly unacceptable.


So you want the ocean? Take it in and breath it deep into your lungs.

Bury your face in your fear. I cannot pull you by your hair. I cannot electrify your body and move it to salvation. I cannot even do that for myself.

I cannot love you as a lover. I will love you as your friend.

I will crawl up the mountains with you to find glimpses of hope, I will crawl with you through the thin crevices in this shanty town to receive just a hint of our salvation. I will push past my bodies pleas for death, on through the tunnel, and onto that shore(that one that I live for)(the one that I always forget)

The train passes us as we walk. I watch you watch it go by.

I etch your name in the air, I hold your heart in my head, beating and pulsing against my thoughts and emotions. You pant, fall on your knees and claw and grasp at the air.

I hear sounds of bones clash against one another and I realize you a bleeding. You (all of the cherished) etch his name(his are the lies) in a circle, and draw a curse for yourself in the center. His hands arise from the ground and hold on to you. I watch his hands secure your legs to the ground.

I know you (you thoughtless thought) wouldn't believe the things that are happening to me, I know you barely believe in her. But hear me now, we are not the first nor the last of our kind.

I pull you(all of the cherished) by your shirt, you feel me lean closer than you are comfortable, and I whisper in your ear,

"He is here for your eyes"

But you never wanted to go onward. You like it by the tracks. You like it here. You know your pain.

You(my sister) think you just might escape one day. You always sort of wished you could of ridden that train.

I said to her,

"I dont think that train goes anywhere.

There is only onward. 

Over the mountain, through the crevice, into the tunnel and out onto the shore.

Just kick the dirt (like we always do), scatter his name.

Your eyes are dull I know. So hold onto the lion."

I dont know what you see when I speak to you, but you twist your head and say to me,

"I will not follow you anywhere."

so what is the point?

I search my mind for an answer,

I see the imprints of our dancing in the dirt.

I remember the words you wrote on your wall.

And sometimes,

Sometimes I see the man of discontinuity waiting for me to leave. 

Sowhatnow?

I walk unsteadly, my eyes are dim. I am unstable without you(my sweet sister).

I wish you were here.

But I know I will spend an eternity with you. And maybe some time before that.

But now I see a great city before. I have survived psalv-muron, but it still latches onto me.

   

Thankfully, My Most Wonderful Brother gifted me with a little electricity in my veins.

And anyways, I cant stay, I have a Juggernaut to slay.

Blank Stare

Its just a different nowhere than the one I used to know.

Not like the one that threaded the needle through my skin, round the prison bars.

Its just, I had to close my eyes in order to hold her hand.

Hand in hand we would shut down on the world.

Some escape.

But as she broke in breathless affliction, serrated love filled her heart. Her knees buckle before the strangling powers. She touches her captor with sincere affection. The demon lies next to her, and writes words upon her forehead.

Some escape.

Same funeral. Blackbird, you always take me down. You show me, how much it hurts. And I cant help but weep about it all the time. Now, its just that I cant hold you still as you shiver. Now, I have no trees to hide my rage.

Just a blank stare. In a Dead World.

Just a weary soul picking up broken flesh. Moving it around.

I sit here clutching useless lists,

keys for doors that don't exist

I crack my teeth on pearls

I tear into the history

Show me what it means to me in this world

Yeah, in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle

I'm waiting for a sign

I'll stare straight into the sun

And I won't close my eyes

Till I understand or go blind 

I see the parts but not the whole

I study saints and scholars both

No perfect plan unfurls

Do I trust my heart or just my mind

Why is truth so hard to find in this world

Yeah in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle

I'm waiting for a sign

I'll stare straight into the sun

And I won't close my eyes

Till I understand or go blind (till I understand or go blind)

I know that there's a point I've missed

A shrine or stone I haven't kissed

A scar that never graced my wrist

A mirror that hasn't met my fist

But I can't help feeling like I'm

Due for a miracle

I'm waiting for a sign (waiting for a sign)

I'll stare straight into the sun

And I won't close my eyes (and I won't close my eyes)

Due for a miracle

I'm waiting for a sign

I'll stare straight into the sun

And I won't close my eyes

Singularity and Idolatry

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

- James 1:26-27

The Torchbearer buried his face in lies. Black sticky atrocity filling his mind until it was gushing a purple poison.




Brother. What was I to do? The pressure was mounting. Our relationship? Lord you are strong enough to carry this sin. You are always there to come back to. Lord, by definition I am a whore. I will leave you to satisfy the lies. And when you come to me I will raise wooden nails. Brother, please don't come so close.

The torchbearer is no knight. He is a wanderer. A begger. All he has is that little flame.

He is a sickly man, a shape-shifter.

His veins would  bulge from his temple as his skin shifts into dark shades of blue; a desire is bubbling from his the solar plexus and he is no longer awake.

 He blows out his own light, because he knows

                     exactly

                          what is going to happen

                 and he does not want his faithful lover to see...

How I RAGE against the kingdom.

BUT MY VISION GETS TOO WELL ADJUSTED TO THE DARK.

I SEE YOU THERE GOD!

I SEE YOUR WHITE EYES WATCHING ME LEAVE YOU FOR MY OWN DEATH!

AND I SEE YOUR SADNESS AS I BETRAY YOU FOR QUICK PLEASURE.

I USE THE HANDS YOU THAT MADE TO COVER THE THAT EARS YOU MADE SO THAT I WONT HEAR THAT YOU LOVE ME!!!

BUT JESUS, YOU SHOULD SEE THAT HOLLOW LOOK SHE GIVES ME.

 IT SHINES THROUGH HER BONES.

I would re-open my wounds to dissolve her fears.

I would tear up my healing heart to make her shattered one seem more complete.

I have spent so much time, trying to make her complete.

But the fragments continue to fracture in my claws.

THE BROKENNESS CONSUMES ME EVERMORE

I AM UNEQUIPPED TO HOLD HER HAND MY GOD

WILL YOU BE THERE

WILL YOU HOLD HER MY SWEET LOVER

LORD MY TONGUE BEGS TO SING HER NAME

BUT YOURS IS FORCIBLY IGNORED IN MY BRAIN

MY FINGERTIPS ARE HOT AND RED AND I CANT WAIT

TO TURN AND LOSE MY LOVE AGAIN

if i lose your love Lord

ilosemylife

THEN AT MY FUNERAL, HER SOMMONIA WILL CRAWL OUT OF MY TOMB

AND SHE WILL NOT ATONE

NO SHE WILL GO DOWN COUGHING

THE SICKNESS WILL CRAWL FROM HER BURNING KNEES

UP INTO HER HEART

AND INTO HER EARS

CAUSE MY SINFUL SACRIFICE

JUST REINFORCED

THOSE LIES

SHE WILL TOSS AND TURN IN HER BED

UNTIL ITS GOTTA RUN DOWN HER SKIN

AND I WILL TURN IN MY GRAVE

AND I WILL WEEP IN MY YOUTH

LORD IF MY LUST IS A CULPRIT

I DO NOT WANT TO LUST EVER AGAIN

THE BLACK BEAST HAS RISEN AS MY IDENTITY

ITS JUST NOW IN HER DESTRUCTION

THAT I CALL OUT FOR SALVATION

CAUSE IF THIS IS WHO I AM

IF THIS IS WHO I AM GOING TO BE

LORD I CANT FIGURE A WAY OUT

WITHOUT YOU

LORD I JUST GOT HER VOICEMAIL

AND I THINK SHE IS FALLING FOR SOMEONE ELSE

LORD I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO

DEAR JESUS I NEED YOUR HELP

5 Jesus replied, "Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

-John 3:5-6

And the spirit said to me;

"I WILL NOT CONDEMN YOU

I WILL NOT PUT YOU TO DEATH

YES, THE PENALTY OF SIN WAS DEATH

SO I DIED

YES! THE PENALTY OF SIN WAS DEATH

SO I DIED."

"AND NOW I WILL EAT WITH YOU

I HAVE STAYED WITH YOU THROUGH THE DARKNESS

I WILL COUNSEL YOU INTO THE LIGHT

TORCHBEARER, I WILL TAKE YOUR SCARS FOR YOU

FOR I AM THE LORD JESUS CHRIST

I WILL FORGIVE YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER AND A MILLION TIMES MORE

I WILL TAKE ALL YOUR WOODEN NAILS

I WILL CRAWL TO YOU THROUGH THE THORNS

WE WILL RISE ABOVE THIS WATER

I WILL BREATHE MY LIFE INTO YOUR BLACKENED LUNGS"

"JOSEPH, THE SIN AND FLESH WILL SOON BE DEAD

FOR IT IS THE CORE OF YOUR BEING I HAVE WON

I AM WHAT RESIDES THERE

WHO SHOULD STAND AGAINST ME?

NO DEMON CAN SEPARATE US!"

"BE STILL CHILD AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

"JUST AS I GAVE YOU A SOUL TO ENCOMPASS THE THINGS OF YOUR HEART

JUST AS I GAVE YOU A BRAIN TO CONTROL YOUR BODY

I BIRTHED YOU A SPIRIT, A HOLY OF HOLIES

IN WHICH I RESIDE

YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME" 

"IN THE SIN,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

I WILL SEND MY WORD AFTER YOU,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

I WILL PULL YOU BACK TO ME,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

I WILL BLESS YOUR LIFE,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

I WILL BREAK YOUR HEART,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

I WILL TAKE YOUR BURDENS,

                        YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME.

YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME AND YOU WILL LIVE BECAUSE OF IT.

YOU WILL BE A SLAVE TO RIGHTEOUSNESS

AND I WILL SATURATE MYSELF IN YOU

THROUGH WHICH YOU ARE SANCTIFIED.

BUT TORCHBEARER YOU MUST CAST DOWN YOUR IDOLS."

Then my Brother and I sat in sweet silence as I took him in.

As the Christ held my broken heart in his in his scarred hands, the shadows fled my cloak and the light of his eyes brightened my face. The cancer growing on my skin was ash in the wind. I simply breathed out the poison that once had overrun my veins.

He held my gaze.

He said this to me;

" LET ME HAVE ANNIE, LEAVE HER WITH ME.

JOSEPH, I CAN GIVE HER LIFE IN A WAY YOU NEVER COULD.

I AM THE LIFE WAITING FOR HER.

PLEASE LEAVE HER WITH ME JOSEPH"

And I said "Okay."

Joseph the Violent

Joseph cant give it up tonight. Swimming away in this grave, they tell me to hold on to my clothes, cause their gonna strip me of my bravery.

Joseph cant give it up tonight. The grown men will shake my hand and look me in the eye. But things have gone terribly wrong and we all know it. The years are all just whispers to the elderly children. Whispers of truths and lies. Whispers that make the women weep, and make the men rage inside. And we rage away, and take away until they all go away. And I've been learning, real well, how to die.

Joseph cant give it up tonight. I gotta make it through. The morning is coming, and

I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. To. Deep. To. See.

Whisper me a storm. There is a deeper voice inside my gut.

No its beneath my guts and organs, beyond my brain, down deep in the cavern of my soul. There is a king writing my destiny upon its earthen walls. Thoroughly yet quietly he dies to make himself known to me. Now the light rides his fingertips up and down upon the obsidian, carving his beautiful name onto me.

Joseph cant give it up tonight. Cause he knows he has to get there. Those horsemen couldn't catch. Cause Joseph, he might not be the fastest, but he's a violent punk-saint-radical. You know, the kind we dont like.

Psalv Muron sunk me deep.

Propositions and words wont do it for me. I have pull myself through the waters, before my supply runs out. But even with the oxygen, my head still spins. Holding my eyes open seems to have the same effect as when my eyes are closed.

Cold darkness runs across my neck pulling at my emotions, and it claws for more. But its all I got in this empty black sea. We drift aimlessly apart, and my consistency seems to be failing me. It all dissolves in the pointless blank terror. This horrible membrane is against me, on every step shame arises, and steals and cheats me out of what I need.

I am thrashing, and shouting and singing and hurting, but I am still here. I will have to defeat this tempest here.

Psalv-Muron starts Tonight.

A hundred drops of dew lay upon her body. She lies in the tall golden grass, slowly fading away, slowly escaping this world by sunstroke. Its a slow way to die, but her sweet laughter is enough to keep me here, prisoner by this inescapable depression. Sometimes, I'll ponder whether I'm really depressed, or if I'm just becoming dark wonder. Slipping my heart away, through the deepest folds of the universe, till the walls curve up on me. Till I find a place where nothing could leave, a place no one knows exist.

And she'll hold onto my dead body, waiting for me to say something. Waiting for answers I never knew the answers to anyways. Waiting for me to rise and show her what is good.

Psalv-Muron isn't letting go of my burning soul. The black flames of Amaterasu engulf my pretty face, through the cortex and through my blackened eyes. And though this freezing water rushes against my knees, I cant wash my face. I am scared. King, I am losing myself again. Perhaps finally. What if, this was the end.

I would leap out of this water. But what am I, without you. 

You who would bring these bones back from the abyss, just to let them drop again.

And my angry delusions, spill forth at the mentions of your name. I push and shove myself into this icy sea, and I lie underneath, in these cocaine dreams. I turn prostrate, finding warmth under these burning rocks. The water turns red.

As I sleep the madness sets in. Running mad, from his bright eyes, from the entity whom I must face. Somehow he consumed all the others, holding there fingers, eyes like headlights. From fifty yards away, I hear him whisper "YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS"

And my fear has its words set deep into my ribs, etched out on my shins and wrists. And lust has my hands shaking white, and my chest burning red. And its lust and fear keeping me here, for play with the thing with eyes like headlights. Digging his elongated fingers through my intestines, perhaps hes looking for my hate, or maybe just the last of my sanity.

Echos of indistinguishable voices ring through my head. Are they warning me, will I ever know. Dull and numb, I feel their operation. 

Psalv-Muron is terrible. And it keeps me under. The water has picked up, the awful salty seafoam choking me. And my vision is slipping again. Fading into. Black.

Lord. they are destroying your temple. You gonna raise it in three days?

Will I ever see Aslans Land?

Will I ever be free of these murderers?

Will my king ever set me free? Cause it is chaos.

Joseph.

Lets update the dilemma to what it is. I will be as straight as I can be, with the definitions you have allowed me.

And


I will not be traced into a corner.


And


I'll be honest.

This life can be fucking disgusting.











It seems, I have lost the light in my eyes.


I do not know if that means I have lost my innocence. But it is a crown I cannot give to my king. I am greatly saddened. And the water has turned red. I do not know what that means.












Father forgive me. It is hard for me to retain your light, it always was a struggle.


I believe you can consume me, stir wisdom inside me, but I am unsure of whether or not, this is a bad soul.
I am unsure of what this soul is.
You know, your eyes are all powerful.
I need your answer.

"How He Loves"

My words are twisted till its painful. And as my wounds lie open, she stares with her eyes stuck to the ceiling. Your man was dead and you salivated when you finally saw his blood. And my ghost keeps staring at you, with dark sadness for you in his tears.

I feel so unknown to the crowd and all these characters on stage.

So, I guess I'll have God to talk to, when I cannot swallow any more pills.
He will attend my soliloquy even when my tongue is too tired to talk.
He will know the second I speak my beliefs.

He wont trouble me with non-sense but will sit me down to discuss the colors and their hues and their places (colors are never non-sense to me) but THEY, the richer and the tyrannical, they have a insatiable thirst for dimensional qualities which alludes me since the colors are not yet in their place.


But He will take care to discuss the blood oath that has so carefully shaped my life.
And He will not leave me a single day.
                   Which is nice.


And he has made known his beautiful heart through the love he has poured out to me my whole life. But I face my actions, and my uncleanliness presents itself, as I aim to present myself before him.




I am a sick man.

I walk out the walk laden with guilt.

 And under the setting summer sun its not a fast rapture, not a radiant revival. Its a sweet and slow serenade. Whispering the secrets that make the young fools, wise.

So my antagonistic heart plays against him with my exilirs and unbalanced chemicals. With my diabolical defects and my anthrophobic twich. I manipulate the reason out of my mind, and become drunk and delirious off of my merry arrogance. I swear off the oath that I set with the full content of my once softened heart.

Then my... my awful heart takes heed to the words of black beast. His lies shut me down,

 and I regress

and take as many backwards steps
                             
                                             As I can.

And the sin has me by the throat. Pulverized, as I depart from this plane. Separated from my saving grace, by such a hateful
heart.

And I can only think it is coming to an end. That his only choice is to write me an inevitable tragic exit.

I wish I could describe all the things that have gone wrong. I wish I could make you aware of how I burned as I sin. I wish you could know how guilty I felt, and how much I regret the things that I did.

How I wish I was clean.

And there it is, its small but it there. As I begin to dive headfirst into the concrete, at the name of Jesus Christ, something inside me starts to breath.

The cold hand of my soul reaches for a connection. And I feel the hunger. I feel the starvation. 

And dear friend, I tell you I am ashamed of the truth;

In my evil cowardice I aim to suppress my dieing soul with the pressure of that beast, who dwells with me.

And he has burst in, illuminated my tabernacle.

He carries with him what I have lost.

He carries with him my torch.

And I hold it close, Its every nook pleases me and its strength warms my cold body.

Oh! How he defies the odds, that I laid out for him. How he defies the lies and snares I left in my unclean temple.

Jesus, soft spoken Jesus.

You are filled with authority.

You are filled with love.

I am yours?

Oh Lord. But how can I be clean?

How can I be redeemed?

How can I change from the failure I've become addicted too.

It is all I know and see.

Jesus. You are so good. Why are you so hard to commit to.

Why won't I be yours completely?

I know these lies are empty, but they cripple me in the temptation.

You love me. With all your heart.

You say you can overcome the dark.

You rage against the black malice that burns me away.

You are the proof in my love.

You are the established cause of my revival.

I may be a fool.

But you will lead me to the truth.

You are my shepherd.

You rod will uphold me.

You will call my name as I wander.

Surely you will always find me.

Surely your love will grow and breathe in this tabernacle.

See, I know you raise the dead.

To be with you, is better than life, so surely life must be lived with you.

Break me down, my King.

Break me down, and break out into the visceral.

Seize me in my sleep. Sing deep into my heart.

Bloody up the beast, and bear your lion's teeth.

Stop me where I stand, take me and save me by romance.

I'm tired of watching it all burn, so hold me as we turn

Into this dance of lovers, your truth will drive me upwards.

Upwards to your father, Whom I can't help but adore

I beg you, Lord cleanse me

Cause Jesus Im afraid of God Almighty.

Bring me to the rivers edge.

Make me whole again.

Holy Holy Holy, Is the Lord Almighty.

I used a lot of photography from musicandphotography be sure to check it out. Its really good.

A Looming Lurch

Is it all right that I keep my gun away, even though its loaded?

I always wondered if we outgrew our self-destructive tendencies.

I always guessed not.

I always thought you loved them.

And I was mad because you loved that dark "child" you hold.

I was mad because our chances for "our" children become slimmer at every worthless disgrace. 

I was mad because I gave you the physical metaphor, and you accepted it without hesitation.

But it doesnt seem like you care for the real thing.

And look, I know I am a conceited, vindicated, self-justified bastard.

Ive been told.

I understand that this body has a potent poison brewing in my stomach. That I can be a colorless weapon, just waiting to be held in the right direction.

I know how you feel when I search your every cavity and crevice for plot devices and emotion's written evidence. You squirm when I reveal my inquiring thumb and my crafty fingers. And my apology is often long and overwritten.

I've been told.

But, to tell you the truth, my knuckles have been sore for far too long. My lungs are too tired to spend the breath. These burns have not diffused, and the particles cannot be cleaned cause they will always cling and you will never ever ever care. All the lines that were so carefully laid out are inevitably twisted. All the steal beams that took out the strength from my back candidly liquefy in your volcanic mind. As their trumpets outplay my serenade, the fire in my fist blackens my fingers.

And you know I'm too sinister to bike to the picnic, and I'm too smart to picket. But for every ribbon they collect my voice shrinks into a humming static. And somehow your diary became an invoice. And somehow the reporters got swallowed up by tyrants hungry for hostages. Who are you among the ghosts? Who are you  speaking to when you address me? And what part of me do you savor? What part of me makes you grin and bite your lip during the quiet of the day?

Your an apostle to the self delusion of insomniacs. Your heartbreak consists of a body and a name, and but your tragedy are the love letters that you never opened. Open up the envelope. We left band aids inside.

And fuck me, I know that band aids wont piece together your heart.
I know...

And I wish they would. God, I fucking prayed that they would.

But I am just ink being washed off your body, and I spin down your drain along with all the blood. You finally felt my teeth and threw me off as the dead weight carcass you no longer know. My elongated neck and pale skin can only fade into another set of pink memories. Catch my coat, and tell me I am a liar again if you still yearn to cut me. You whisper your apocalypse under your breath as drive away. 

I wish you could be proud of me.
And
Whenever you leave
Always, I wish
I wish someone had my back.

Cause circumstance can fuck us over. And its not because Im a deadbeat user.
And its not because your a special little fuck of a freak.


When I think about it all
God help me!
They can say so many things about me. But that wont change the promises I made. It wont change how the stars were aligned when I left out my hearts desire on your driveway.

I will take my self-respect and my dignity. I won't give my heart to the demons. To many good things are written upon that organ for the rampage of malevolent souls.

So when youre not afraid to leave the dark quarters of that labyrinth, come out and talk to me.
I will tell you that you are beautiful.
With whatever I have on me.
Because that is written on my heart.
Thats all I wanted to say.

That and..

Im sorry

(and I still want to be mad but I will say it because I love you and I regret hurting you but I do want you to know that I need respect and love too, despite the circumstance and my mistakes and my apathy and all that shit, and I am doing my damn best to make you proud and I want you to love me long enough to see me shine for God and You)

I lie with, hallelu.

Double standards and hypocrisy trickle down my neck. I open my eyes as I clench this broken window, I reclaim the air inside my lungs and the scars on my hands. It is a stary night, and I was playing the piano in my sleep. But my eyes wouldn't leave this plane, this reality beckons me to dig a whole 10 feet deep. My eyes are drawn to the dark, now that the light is on the other side of the world.

The single man of discontinuity walks into my house playing a sweeter song than I ever heard. He picks at the banjo singing sweet blues. He steps forward with all his dignity, he never lost a drop. Not a day of shame lay on his face.

His treasure is starving men, and beaten women, and the quiet children of the north. And he treasures them in song and rhapsody, in the silence and during the calamity.


My punk-ass heart beats to the pulse of another heart, long gone in the distance, hidden away by society. Self pity and blood soaken regret pile up in my throat. Oh dear Lord, look away, I am about to spill it all up. Oh dear Lord, stop looking, Im a half-beat wannabee. He lunges forward and places his finger on my lips. My breath comes back to my lungs like thunder and all my dirty words are dissolved.

Oh, THEN, after that...

Then, after that he speaks.
His words are like warm water falling down on top of my head, every drop anoints me. His words are like crystal caves florescent by the shine of the stars. His words are taring through the air, defying every ambush and hijack plot set against this heart of stone. His words are as quiet as the breeze, but boy do they take me home.

But I tear and twist at the sight of his kingdom, and I crack my ribs because the hypocrisy and error is burned deep in my skin. I know I've hearkened and I know I've been a fool and I cant help but feel I've missed this train. I found out gold wasn't gold unless there was light to shine upon it, and I was looking so hard in the water to find this gold, that I sank pretty deep into these dark blue pits.

And my older brother touches my eyes, and I never even realized they were closed. And as I look up, I notice he is wearing my blood soaken regret and the black crawling fear from inside me. I must of... thrown up.

He is wiping me down, for I spilt my shame in my lapse of consciousnesses. And as he clenses me of my filth in my nakedness, all my scars are sewn up and sealed up and I am uncursed. Just a reflex, he says, just his nature. I lie with my eyes open upon his face...
The night doesnt seem so dark anymore.

My brother, holds me as I sleep. He treasures my childs heart... despite the thorns that harm.