I lie with, hallelu.

Double standards and hypocrisy trickle down my neck. I open my eyes as I clench this broken window, I reclaim the air inside my lungs and the scars on my hands. It is a stary night, and I was playing the piano in my sleep. But my eyes wouldn't leave this plane, this reality beckons me to dig a whole 10 feet deep. My eyes are drawn to the dark, now that the light is on the other side of the world.

The single man of discontinuity walks into my house playing a sweeter song than I ever heard. He picks at the banjo singing sweet blues. He steps forward with all his dignity, he never lost a drop. Not a day of shame lay on his face.

His treasure is starving men, and beaten women, and the quiet children of the north. And he treasures them in song and rhapsody, in the silence and during the calamity.


My punk-ass heart beats to the pulse of another heart, long gone in the distance, hidden away by society. Self pity and blood soaken regret pile up in my throat. Oh dear Lord, look away, I am about to spill it all up. Oh dear Lord, stop looking, Im a half-beat wannabee. He lunges forward and places his finger on my lips. My breath comes back to my lungs like thunder and all my dirty words are dissolved.

Oh, THEN, after that...

Then, after that he speaks.
His words are like warm water falling down on top of my head, every drop anoints me. His words are like crystal caves florescent by the shine of the stars. His words are taring through the air, defying every ambush and hijack plot set against this heart of stone. His words are as quiet as the breeze, but boy do they take me home.

But I tear and twist at the sight of his kingdom, and I crack my ribs because the hypocrisy and error is burned deep in my skin. I know I've hearkened and I know I've been a fool and I cant help but feel I've missed this train. I found out gold wasn't gold unless there was light to shine upon it, and I was looking so hard in the water to find this gold, that I sank pretty deep into these dark blue pits.

And my older brother touches my eyes, and I never even realized they were closed. And as I look up, I notice he is wearing my blood soaken regret and the black crawling fear from inside me. I must of... thrown up.

He is wiping me down, for I spilt my shame in my lapse of consciousnesses. And as he clenses me of my filth in my nakedness, all my scars are sewn up and sealed up and I am uncursed. Just a reflex, he says, just his nature. I lie with my eyes open upon his face...
The night doesnt seem so dark anymore.

My brother, holds me as I sleep. He treasures my childs heart... despite the thorns that harm.