New Dreams

Whenever I would foretell the future, in the past,

I would start off describing the toll of my apparitions and my soul-sucking addictions. Because, for most of my life, they were my greatest reality. I listened to long forgotten radios in our insect ridden home. I thought, whats the point taking the time to take a breath outside if your just going back inside?

Riku and I would escape to fight off the juggernauts at night. We hid in castles together for just long enough to feel each others warmth. My solace was with her.

Thing was, Riku wasnt always there, and when she said sayonara, I went searching for her.
I ran myself in circles pleading for her to come home to me. Chasing girls whom I no longer remember. Split my love songs upon them, before I could wait for her to return.

Then confusion came to reign. 

Riku was disembodied

I left myself 

And Blackbird's heart was punctured

I kept myself enthroned, attempting to define love,

being so desperate not to lose it.

I redefined my King. I redefined Blackbird.

I forgot Riku.
I broke the seal and ripped apart all her letters, and forgot my childhood love. I forgot her guts and the beautiful swords at her sides. She would go with me anywhere, because there is a very special king who sent her.

And its hard to articulate the difference between the two. Between blackbird and riku. The wound in my heart dividing the two is still numb. I am not the judge of identity. I must let the light break into the homes of the scared, and give the proud a fright.

Sure gave me a fright. Shook me up and showed me how much of a ghost I really am.

The fire of my torch is more solid than my own existence. Then again, I realize its more solid than anything else I know. Solid blue flames pulverize my heart, they tear the tissue, they tear my bonds of musk and dust. It's heat thrusts me into places I've never seen, hospitals of love and sanctuaries for the crawling children. I must sprint to new fields of grace, let go of whats behind me, cause this fire will not let me turn back.

In these new dreams, as the wolf comes to meet me, I return his words with a left hook straight to his soul.

I love the law of my King. It's beauty shall radiate through my bones. My brother accomplished and fufilled the law, and I am free to live.

 Know wolf, I am a Torchbearer.

 I may not know where she is, but I know my Brother King has lit my torch. My flame burns because victory is already here. Today.