How Elusive.

You rest on my shoulder watching the sun rise. You can feel the warmth of my skin as my yawning cheeks are met by golden sun rays.You are afraid to die, so you crawl inside.

Conversation stops as I start to choke. You slither down my spine round the vertebrae, pulling them apart. I can feel you in my body, I know the course of these movements. Back threw my throat. You consume my mind.

You are a snake and you steal love inside.

I am just clay, I am just flesh molding under the pressure of anyone's fingers. 

The blood grow thick under my forehead. And nothing will alleviate this sickness.

CAST DOWN YOUR IDOLS YOU SAY.

VICTORY OVER THE DEAD BY MY HANDS?

The dead slowly come to realize that their hands are not golden and strong but pale and quivering. The light jumps and I thrash into a darkness.

All I wanted was to be THE ONE WHO LOVED YOU LIKE YOU ALWAYS WANTED.

All I am is a muddied reflection in a dirty mirror of the man you need.

He walks away and I am not even there.

Miracles are elusive in the darkness of sin.

When I cant find a miracle I'll pretend.
Pretending doesnt help my case either.
I know
I know.
A juggernaut beckons me with angry fingers on my eyes. Older Brother, why so?

Why so?