We gotta go deeper.
Umm, I dont know how to say this, but...
We never went deep enough.
Do you feel it Lord? Do you feel this darkness inside of me? Arnt you inside of me to? Wasn't I in your waters. Haven't we been one? What ever happened to that?
Does it protrude through your dreams too? Or is just me?
Oh Lord, how alone I feel at times.
Have you been around? Are my eyes always closed?
Why am I such a child. I do not wish to be. Still nothing moves.
DID I MISS YOU?
How could I ever pull you deeper into myself. Deeper than this sin.
I-I just want you to be one with me, to never leave me. Not to be all fucked up like this. All the time.
Pull the cloak over my head. Take me to the darker room.
Look I do not care if it is essentially torture.
Just press through all my guts and my "essential" organs... and place yourself in me.
Maybe it is a surgery I would have to do myself.
So here is the Gospel.
You reconciled me to the father, by your death.
You left me with the holy spirit.
Nothing is impossible by the hands of the father.
Oh, Lord, my patience grows thin. How much more brokenness is permissible?
How much more before you take me. I admit how weak I am.
THE MORE WE WAIT THE MORE WEAK WE GROW WITHOUT YOU.
THE MORE TERRIFIED WE BECOME.
the more alone we become. At this distance, how can you not miss us?
And just when I get back to the daytime, its night again.
Just as you said, I denied you three times before the rooster crowed.
Jesus, I don't know if I would die for you.
I don't know.
And if thats the case, why should you take me with you.
Without you, if you ever take your hand off my shoulder, my heart falls apart.
It just crumbles, and he gets another ribbon, he counts them, he has counted all of them, and presses them deep into me. He punctures everything. Everything. He won't leave anything alone. Anything.
Oh Jesus Christ, can you hear me?
My words might not surmount to much, but can you see my heart?
Blackbird, can you now see how spiritually weak I am?
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